With Bloodshot Eyes, I Watch You Sleeping
by Numb Smile
Summary: AU. Spashley. Ashley is the most popular girl in school, Spencer is her former best friend and her current stalker.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: _"With Bloodshot Eyes, I Watch You Sleeping"_

**Disclaimer**: Blah blah, _Tommy Lynch_, blah blah, _The-N_, blah blah, broke bum, blah and all that repetitive jazz blah.

**Rating**: _NC-17/R/18_ – sex, adult themes and all that shibaziboodle

**Summary**: It's an AU fic, you know the type; Ashley is the most popular girl in school and Spencer is a loner – a stalkerish loner. I'm starting it off as a one-shot, but if enough people like it, then I'll develop it.

**Author's Note**: I've had this idea in my head for years – it originally popped up in conjunction with a completely different fandom – and yet I've put off writing it for so long, meh.

**Feedback**: Ehhh, it's always lovely to receive, whether it's a page long (yes, I'm looking at you Boris) or a quick few words, it's just nice to know that someone is reading the drivel that I write.

**Reality Bending**: Even though Ashley has a car and can drive, she walks home after school almost everyday – so lets just imagine that LA is the safest place in the world for a scantily clad sixteen-year-old girl to be walking around alone, in the dark.

**Songs**: The title is from the **Bullet For My Valentine** song "_Tears Don't Fall_" and the lyrics used at the beginning are from **Aqualung**'s "_Strange And Beautiful_".

* * *

Chapter 1 

_**I've been watching your world from afar,  
I've been trying to be where you are,  
And I've been secretly falling apart, unseen.  
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,  
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,  
You turn every head but you don't see me.**_

I watch her, I follow her; I stalk her. And she has no idea.

That's sort of obvious though, if she knew I'd be probably be dead by now.

Maybe I should explain a little, we used to be best friends, almost inseparable. Almost. Things changed, as they always do, the world shifted around us and she grew up to be the most popular girl in school, head cheerlead, dating the captain of the basketball team, friends with the entire student body, the original all-American girl. And what about me? Put simply, I didn't. The more popular she got, the more I began to sink into the background, my face and my identity slipping into the darkness of obsolescence, Spencer Carlin was just another faceless student at King High, lost to loneliness and spat on by apathy.

My former best friend hasn't acknowledged my presence in years, but just as Ashley started to forget about me, I could never forget about her and my feelings for the brunette got stronger and stronger, my need to be around her grew and my thoughts and drives became monopolized by her.

* * *

She says a quick goodbye to Madison and starts to walk off of the school grounds, I watch as the latina speeds off in her Mercedes convertible before I begin to tail Ashley, the sun has already set and the walk back to Ashley's mansion will be filled with darkness. Not that I mind, I'll still be able to see her, to follow her with no problem, I've walked along the same roads so many times, I think I know the way to Ashley's house better than she does by now.

She stops abruptly to flex her knee a little, and I duck into an alleyway – I probably don't need to be doing my best James Bond impression, but I like to ham my own stealthyness up – I hope her knee is okay, I saw her injure it earlier during a cheer practice, one of the male cheerleaders with more teeth than brain cells didn't catch her when he was supposed to and she tumbled to the ground. I wanted to kick the bastard in the balls for that, I obviously couldn't come out of my hiding spot to inflict pain on the moron, but at least Madison started swearing at him in Spanish. I peer around the corner and she's started walking again, I compose myself and go back to my normal routine of following her, it's nothing short of a miracle that after all these years she hasn't caught me once.

The streets are unusually quiet today and the lack of hustle and bustle has a relaxing quality to it, sure there are still people around, but considerably less than there usually is. We're coming up to a set of traffic lights so I start to slow down, my steps becoming more languid until I'm sure that she's cleared the Pelican Crossing, I wouldn't want to slip up and pop up beside her as she waits for the little green man to appear.

I sigh inwardly, we're coming to the end of our shared journey, and Ashley will be out of my sight for over fifteen hours, the thought immediately depresses me. Although I'm sure she'll make her usual appearance in my dreams, her unsaid words ghosting over my flesh, her lips just out of reach, my body longing to come back into contact with hers, for just one more night. It's worse over the holidays, I can go days, even weeks without seeing her, and it kills me inside. When she's not around, my life looses all its' meaning, my days are wasted laying in bed imagining what she's doing, who she's with and how long the monotonous torture will last.

Ashley turns right into a residential road and I continue to follow her, we're now literally two minutes from her abode, the realization crushes me. She stops in front of a large oak tree and just stares at its' expanse, her eyes tracing over each branch. She's done this before, I assume the tree holds some significance for her, maybe a childhood memory that she doesn't want to let go off; a reminder of a carefree time, maybe it takes her back to a moment shared with her father, I don't know. My beautiful angel turns on her heel and continues down the road towards her house, throwing the tree one more wistful glance before rounding the corner. This is my cue to leave and head back to my modest home. _Goodnight Ashley.

* * *

_

I sit at my desk idly drumming my fingers on my thighs, why do history assignments have to be so boring? I turn my attention back to my monitor, **Google** staring back at me, a blur of words covering the screen, this is crap. Sighing heavily, I start spinning my desk chair around, taking in a panoramic view of my bedroom as I do. I wonder what Ashley's room looks like these days, I wonder if she's redecorated since I was last in the comforting confines of her bedroom, if she still has the same bed that we used to sleep in.

I spin my chair back 'round so I'm facing my computer once more, letting out an audible grunt I start skimming over the page of search results, hoping to find what I'm looking for.

"Hey Spencer."

My eyes go wide and my hands push against my desk so that my chair spins to face the direction of a voice that I'd know anywhere. Ashley pops into my eye line as I slam my feet on the ground, stopping my chair from turning anymore, she's here, in my room, looking as beautiful as ever, my mouth feels dry as I gulp, the sound resonating throughout my otherwise silent room.

I try to reply, try to say hello back, but my futility makes my words sound like a squeak and I begin to blush, painfully aware of her deliberate steps towards me. Ashley glances back at my closed bedroom door before she pulls the corner of her bottom lip into her mouth, the pink flesh getting locked between her teeth. My bedroom is dark but I can make out every little mark and freckle on her exposed flesh, her hips swaying as she sashays towards me, my pulse quickening.

"I know," her voice is thick as she speaks, "I know you watch me."

Oh fuck, oh fuckity fuck, she's going to kill me, she's going to…. Hey, why's she smiling like that?

She's in front of me now, towering over my sitting form, the delicious scent of her perfume making my head spin. I watch as she bites down on her lower lip once more, the simple action painfully arousing, her body shifting, she leans down, her face inches from mine.

Her deep brown eyes lock with mine as she speaks again, "I've known for so long," she pauses her eyes dipping to my lips, her face moving closer to my own; _oh please for the love of God, let her kiss me_.

She lets a sly grin wash over her face before straddling my hips; I let out a surprised squeak, our new proximity driving me mad. Her lips are next to my ear as she starts to talk once more, her warm breath dancing over the shell of my ear, "And is makes me so," she pauses again, to capture my left wrist in her palm, the gentle heat from her hand spreading more heat throughout my nervous body.

I feel her open and close her mouth next to my ear, the sound of her breathing only fuelling my rapidly growing desire. She tugs on my wrist, my hand following her movements, between her parted legs, my fingers skim over her velvety thighs as her hands guides my own further up, pressing the palm of my hand against the triangle of heat between her legs, I let out another small gasp as I find out she's not wearing any underwear.

"Wet." As Ashley finishes, giving my hand one final tug before pressing my fingers against her opening.

_Oh... Oh God._

She releases my hand from her gentle grip, her hips gently rocking, urging me to touch her, but I'm frozen, the shock of the situation paralysing me, I want to move, I desperately want to move, to touch her, to pleasure her, but I can't move a muscle.

Her warm tongue runs against the length of my ear and I think I'm going to faint, "Please Spencer," her voice is raspy and full of want, "touch me."

Her hips rock a little more, trying to push my fingers into her, mustering up al my strength, I do as we both want and push two digits into her burning heat, she emits a pleased gasp and I let out a low moan, my fingers fitting inside of her so perfectly.

I quickly lose myself in the sensation of being inside of Ashley Davies, she rests her head in the crook of my neck as her hips press down, drawing my fingers deeper into her, another plea swiftly passes over her parted lips, getting lost near my collarbone.

The awkward position we're both in causing no uncomfort as I begin thrusting my fingers in and out of her, her soft gasps and gentle moans making the world around us spin. I pause to shift in my seat, careful not to throw Ashley off of my lap, and her lips find mine, it's better than I've ever dreamed it could be. Her soft tongue slowly running over my own, both her hands tangling in my hair, pushing our faces together, her hips finding her desired pace to rock against still moving hand. She moans into my mouth and I reply by kissing her harder, my tongue lashing against hers. Her moans and throaty groans only making my fingers pound into her with more urgency, I pull my mouth from hers, sucking much needed oxygen to my lungs. She catches my bottom lip in between her teeth and bites down before gently sucking the swelling flesh into her mouth, I moan once more.

Ashley frees my lip from her teeth and pushes her face back down, back into the crook of my neck, gasping "Harder, harder" as her teeth sink into my neck. I groan as I comply, my fingers surging into her with renewed need, her teeth sinking lower as I do, another groan rumbling in my throat.

I keep my free hand on her back, making sure she's in the best position, my right hand locked firmly between her legs, fingers pounding into her with all my might. Her body fidgets, head moving to my shoulder, her torso pressing into my own, words leaving her lips, muted by my shoulder. She pulls back, gasping, "I'm, I'm, oh fuck."

My eyes widen, _oh fuck_.

"I'm going to, oh God, please Spencer, please." Her voice is laced with desire and exigency, she starts panting my name against my shoulder, her walls tightening around my fingers…

* * *

I bolt up in bed, my body covered in sweat, her name a dull cry on my lips. Breathing hard, I look around my room; it's empty. She's not here and she never was, I lie back down, my t-shirt slicked to my skin, it felt so real, I wanted it to be real. I close my eyes and I'm painfully aware of the burning ache between my legs, sighing I roll onto my side and fix my gaze on my desk chair. I wanted her to be with me so much. My fingers are already past the elastic waistband of my shorts before I can register them, I picture Ashley next to me, she's kneeling by my bed, berating me for touching myself whilst thinking about her. I'm inside of myself, but I imagine I'm back inside of Ashley, her throaty moans urging me on, begging me to continue. Her voice is liquid silk in my ear as she begs me to push her over the brink, our bodies moving in sync.

* * *

Thursdays are always slow, and today seems to be no exception and it's not even nine yet, the mass of students grumble and groan as they all find somewhere to sit in King's grand assembly hall. The clashing of shoes against wood is soon drowned out by hundreds of separate conversations, the sea of chatter forever droning.

I've luckily manage to squeeze myself into the top left of the building, no one behind me, no one to the left of me and a large gap between myself and a small group of preppy girls to my right.

The headmaster appears onstage behind a small podium and with a lot of cajoling, the hall falls victim to silence, Mr. Eliot bleating on about things with no relevance to anyone. Today sucks.

"And as a special treat, King High's very own cheer squad are going to perform their latest cheer for you." Mr. Cheeseface says before walking off stage, as a chorus of wolf whistles emanates from a large group of boys at the front of the gym.

I roll my eyes at them, and stop slouching in my seat, trying to get the best view of the stage, it's not long before short green skirts and tight green tops fill the stage. Ashley stands at the front, looking genuinely happy to be there as the music starts up and the squad bursts into life, flips, spins and other gymnastic moves colouring the large stage.

Maybe today won't be so bad after all.

* * *

I'm out and about, well not really, but I am out and in a club. Grey to be exact. Why? Well, Ashley is here, that's why. She's the only reason why I'd venture into a place like this, I don't have anything against clubs, but I don't have anyone to go with, so I usually steer clear, not tonight though. It's not the first time I've been here either, Ashley comes here quite a bit, so naturally I follow.

I bob my head to the music and drink orange juice, tucked away in a dark corner where I can't be seen, my eyes glued to Ashley, as ever. She's straightened her hair tonight and she looks stunning, but then again, she always does; my beautiful angel.

I growl into my glass as I watch Aiden pull her into him, they're on the dance floor and I hate it, I hate that she's with him. They've been dating for a few months and I've loathed every second of it, doesn't he know that she's meant to be with me? He whispers something to her, and her soft giggles float along the music to reach my ears, I'm the one that should be making her laugh, damnit! It's not long before he begins tugging on her arm, pulling her towards the toilets, my blood boils as I quickly follow them, unseen by all.

"Please Ash, for me, I promise I'll be quick." I roll my eyes, boys are so romantic.

Aiden produces a small foil square from his back pocket and waves it about in front of her face, he sounds like a whinny child begging him mother for a new **Action Man**, my head ducks back behind the wall as he waits for Ashley's response.

"Aid', look I…." She sounds unsure, her heart's not in it. Ha! _Score one; Spencer!_

"C'mon Ash', you know you'll love it." God, he's got to be kidding right, I can't see his face, but I bet he's giving her his best puppy dog look.

She nods slowly, shoulders slumped in defeat, I can't look away as he pushes her skirt up and his trousers down. My head slings back behind the wall as I hear a pained gasp push over her lips, gulping softly, I watch their reflection in a nearby mirror. Her chin is rested on his shoulder, eyes downcast as he beings to push in and out of her, I want to stop him, to round the corner and pull him out of her, to shout and kick at him, warning him never to go near my Ashley again. I don't though. I just watch the spectacle. It doesn't last long, and soon he slumps against her, muttering how much he loves her and that it was amazing. She just nods against his shoulder.

I hate him.

* * *

I'm not crazy, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not delusional, I don't want to kill her and steal her life or anything like that. I'm not on drugs and I don't need to be, my mental health is just fine, I don't need to be locked up; I wouldn't hurt a fly.

I just want Ashley to be happy, I want to make her happy, I want to protect her. I want her and I want her to want me. I know it will never happen though.

She forgot about me a long time ago, but I could never forget about her, so now I just watch.

I watch her, I follow her; I stalk her. I love her.


	2. Chapter 2

Feedback, it's my crack, and what lovely crack it is! Anyway, thanks for it :)

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Bullet For My Valentine** song "_Room 409_"

I'm not too happy with this part, but still, it's an update

* * *

Chapter 2

_**I take a step, to the left, now you see me  
Tears, start to pour, as you crawl, in his apartment  
You, screamed his name, as I came in your direction  
Fists, start to fly, say goodbye, there's no excuses**_

The rumours about them dating had already been flying around school before Ashley even agreed to go out with him. Some were ludicrous romantic nonsense, things like Aiden whisking her away to Paris just to ask if she'd go on one date with him, some were more bizarre; people were saying that Aiden had taken a knife to his wrist and let Ashley lick away the blood.

She's not a vampire and she doesn't have a blood fetish, if that's what you're wondering.

Anyway, I was there when she agreed, I'm always there, it hadn't been cultish or even highly romantic – it was after practice, all the boys were heading off to their locker room to shower and change and the girls were heading in the opposite direction, to the girls changing rooms. Madison and Ashley were lingering around on the court and Aiden had run up to them, Madison nudged Ashley and scooted off; I'm hardly surprised, I mean, she did have to be home before the full moon, anyway Aiden was dripping with sweat and Ashley looked uncomfortable, it was painfully obvious he was going to ask her out. And he did, Aiden asked my Ashley out, and she agreed, he smiled and she smiled, and I felt my heart break a little more.

Ashley Davies, head cheerleader and Aiden Dennison captain of the basketball team had started dating; they were King High's very own power couple. She was with someone, someone that wasn't me and yet I still couldn't look away.

His arm around her shoulder, his lips against her skin, his name on her lips, and I still couldn't stop. I still didn't want to. She still haunted my thoughts, I wanted them to break up, I still do. Sometimes when I watch them, I imagine it's me with her instead of him, it's me she's smiling at, it's me she's letting hold her, it's me; as it should be.

He doesn't love her, not like I do, he can't. And I don't think she loves him, maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I've seen it, in her eyes, there's no spark there. When he kisses her, I can see it in her eyes, she doesn't love him. She doesn't.

I can hear her giggling now, it's faux. I hope. Maybe it's not; maybe Aiden Dennison is the world's next greatest comedian. They're coming back from his car, he was skipping geography and she was skipping biology – here is where I'd make a joke about them studying human reproductive biology together, that is if the thought didn't make my blood rage with jealously – and what am I skipping? Nothing, I've got a _free_, well it will be over in a few minutes and I'll be off to my history class, my history class that I make sure never to miss, why's that? Well I share it with Ashley, that's why.

They walk right past me – I'm sitting at an empty table on the quad, well they're all empty, but that's not the point. I'm sitting in plain view of everyone and everything, but I remain invisible, I think I give off some strange magnetic field. A rare anomaly, one that can only be explained by Professor Hawking about magnetic fields and a black hole is, on the other side of the Milky Way. An anomaly that makes me invisible, completely undetectable by the human eye. I have a theory that one lunch time I could go and sit at the table with all the cheerleaders sitting around it, a table inhabited by all the people at King that loathe people like me; social outcasts. I think that I could plonk myself down at the table and no one would notice me; I just wouldn't register on their radar. I haven't tested my theory out yet, maybe one day I will, but not today.

Ashley pushes Aiden away as she heads towards the girls' loos, he pouts at her and goes off towards his locker.

Yawning I start to gather up my books, the bell is going to go off soon signalling the end of the current lesson and the imminent start of the next and I want to make sure I get a good seat at the back, so I get a good view.

By the time I'd gotten my books together and arrived outside of the correct classroom, the bell had already gone off and the entire student body had poured into the hallways, slowly and noisily shuffling towards their destinations.

A couple of minutes of pushing and elbowing later I was walking into the small classroom on the corner of the building, the room was empty except for two stereotypical _swots_ who always sat together at the front of the room and Mrs. Ryan our teacher. I wasn't far into the room when I felt a tugging on my elbow, turning I was met with Mrs. Ryan's tired face – she was a fairly short plump woman with greying blonde hair, a large pair of spectacles, that were forever falling down, sat perched just past the bridge of her nose. She had a warm smile but a horribly psychotic temper, and she was clutching onto my elbow. Gulping softly I nodded at her and she asked me to stay after class as she had something important to ask me. Shrugging I nodded at her and took my seat at the back of the room, waiting for the rest of class to arrive.

Forty five minutes of Mrs. Ryan droning on about the Spanish civil war was coming to a close, not that I was paying any attention to her, my attention was set on the brunette sitting next to Madison three rows from the back, I inwardly sighed and swooned.

I hadn't chosen the class because of Ashley, that's not to say that I enjoyed history either, I just always seemed to do well at it, and when it came to choosing which subjects to drop and which to pursue, my grades spoke for themselves. Having the object of my affection in the class was just a happy bonus.

No matter how little attention I paid in class I still managed to get some of the highest grades in the year, so I never did listen to what Mrs. Ryan was prattling on about. Then again, even if I was flunking out, that wouldn't change whom my focus was on during class.

Once again the school bell rung, this time signalling not just the end of the lesson but of the school day too, I grinned to myself, the lure of my bed was too strong to resist, after I saw Mrs. Ryan that was. _Yawn._

As the students started standing up and getting their things together, Mrs. R started to shout over the roar of chairs squeaking on the linoleum floor, she was reminding us about our homework and when it was due in, not that anyone was listening to her though.

"Miss. Davies, wait a minute, I'd like to see you." That caught my attention; I guess Mrs. Ryan had caught Ashley talking to Madison. All the way through the lesson. Again.

With my bag slung over my shoulder I hovered 'round the middle of the room as the class emptied leaving only myself, Ashley, Madison and our teacher still around. Mrs. Ryan told Madison to go and that she wasn't needed, the latina shot Ashley a sympathetic look before leaving quickly.

Mrs. R regarded me, "Miss. Carlin, please come up here." I did as I was told and started to walk to the front of the classroom, as I did Ashley turned to look at me. She looked confused, like she didn't even know I was in the room with her, she never does.

Mrs. Ryan started to speak again, "Do either of you know why I asked you to stay behind?" we both shook our heads.

"Well it's very simple; Miss. Davies you're failing the class and Miss. Carlin is one of my best students." She wanted me to tutor Ashley? Was I dreaming?

"You want her to tutor me?" Her tone was incredulous.

"Exactly! That is if Miss. Carlin has no objections?" They both turned to look at me.

I shook my head once more and started staring at the floor, "And if I don't want a tutor?" Ashley spoke again.

"Then, well, I'm almost certain you'll fail. Before you ask, I asked Miss. Carlin because I believe she's up to the challenge."

"I don't have a choice do I?" She sounded defeated.

I looked up to see Ashley and Mrs. Ryan both nodding at each other, I think this year is getting better.


	3. Chapter 3

Um yeah, long time no update - my bad, but thanks for all the feedback for the previous part.

Just so the few people still reading this know, I've changed the subject that Spencer is tutoring Ashley in from history to maths. And for the purpose of this fic both of Ashley's parents are like Papa Carlin

This is just an itty bitty part to show that this fic is still on my mind.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Smokey Robinson** song _"You've Really Got a Hold on Me" (_think of The Beatles cover)

* * *

Chapter 3 

_**I don't like you  
But I love you  
Seems that I'm always  
Thinking of you  
Oh, oh, oh  
You treat me badly  
I love you madly

* * *

**_

"Um, hi." My voice sounds weak and I want to hit myself.

Ashley lowers her head so that her eyes peep out over her sunglasses, she raises an eyebrow signalling me to speak.

"Um, well I was um, wondering, about the tutoring," I paused to let my eyes fidget, "the maths tutoring, I was thinking that we should start," Ashley's left eyebrow lifted a little higher, "Start soon, you'know because we have a test coming up and…yeah."

In my peripheral vision I could see Madison shooting Ashley a confused look.

"Sure," Ashley shrugged as she spoke, "whatever."

"So… when… tonight?" my hands rung themselves in front of my waist as I spoke, my nerves apparent.

She sounded bored, "Fine."

"And where, I mean, your house or…"

"Yours!" Madison cut in, leaving both Ashley and myself to mirror the same confused expression, the Latina pulled her friends' head closer to her mouth and whispered quickly in her ear, and I was left feeling even more uncomfortable than before. The two friends nodded at each other before Ashley turned back to me and continued with her monosyllabic responses, "Yours."

I spoke with my eyes glued to my shuffling feet, "Oh okay, um, I'll meet you by reception at four?"

"Whatever." Her reply is short as she starts to push her sunglasses back up to the bridge of her nose with her index finger.

I'm about to turn and leave before Madison turns to look at me with ennui in her eyes, "You can go now."

I nod quickly and awkwardly as I turn away from the pair and head off in the opposite direction, unsure of my current destination, but eagerly anticipating four _pm_.

* * *

I found myself in my empty form room, half heartedly doing my homework thinking about the events of the previous afternoon - Mrs Ryan telling me to stay after class and being assigned to Ashley as her tutor. It felt almost surreal. I mean, being thrown together with Ashley after years of her being blissfully unaware of my existence, it seemed almost too good to be true. Maybe it was, maybe it _is_ true; Ashley obviously doesn't want me as her tutor,

The way she acted earlier, it's like she doesn't even remember who I am, or how close we used to be.

I wonder if she remembers the time she had Chicken Pox and her mother _quarantined_ her? I wonder if she remembers me sneaking into her room and giving her a bowl of soup, I wonder if she can remember grabbing for my arm and urging me to snuggle up to her under the covers? Maybe she remembers that and maybe she can remember her mother walking into her room to check on her and finding Ashley wrapped around me, with my small arms tightly wrapped around her equally small body, my exposed arms and face covered with the same red spots as the ones that her daughter wore?

Maybe her memory isn't as good as mine.

I can still feel her nose rubbing against my neck and her hands rubbing over my back in her sleep, the look of shock on Mrs. Davies face and the look of amusement on Mr. Davies face, I can still hear him making a joke about not being able to separate Ashley and myself; _Ashley and Spencer – always joined at the hip, no matter what_.

The bell signalling the end of the lunch break goes off, snapping me out of my thoughts and I wait for the rest of my tutor group to pour through the open door. Two more hours until four o'clock.


	4. Chapter 4

As always sorry for both the delay and the length of this part, _annnd_ of course, thank you for all so much the feedback - it's good to know that people are actually reading what I write. And bear with the fic and all will be revealed.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Alexisonfire** song "_Boiled Frogs_"

* * *

Chapter 4

_**So wait up, I'm not sleeping alone again tonight.  
There's so much to dream about, there must be more to my life  
Poor little tin man, still swinging his axe,  
Even though his joints are clogged with rust.**_

****

I nervously fiddle with my backpack, my left hand tugging at the strap on my right shoulder, as my watch snakes past my eyes I clock the time, 4:06pm. She's late.

I can feel my pulse start to race a little, my face scrunching up in a wince; she's not going to show up, that's why she said my house. Oh no, oh dear. I don't want this.

As my mind starts to run away with this train of thought, I start to picture Ashley and Madison hiding by a line of lockers point and laughing at me. My breath hitches, my heart still beating faster than usual. I duck my head and slam my eyes shut trying to calm myself down, wordlessly telling myself to relax.

"Spencer." I inwardly sigh, wondering how long it's been since I last heard Ashley say my name, her perfectly husky voice making my knees weak.

Lifting my head up to meet her eye line I mentally shake myself, _gotta stay calm._

"Um, hi. Ashley." She nods at me, "Um, I guess we should go. Er, get, um, get going." I smile nervously.

Her reply is short as ever, her voice laced with apathy, "Whatever" she adjusts her sunglasses, moving them from the top of her head to rest on her nose, her eyes disappearing behind the large aviators she now sported, as she speaks.

Ashley has her bag slung over her right shoulder like me, however instead of a rucksack she has a canvas book back, her handbag straps peeking out at the top of the flimsy container. I wonder what books she has in the bag, and if she's failing anymore subjects, and….

"…Going?"

_Huh?_ Damnit! She was speaking. She shoots me a bored look and I guess that she was talking about us leaving the school campus, I try to mentally shake myself as I gesture to my right as I start to walk, hoping that she follows. I hear her heels clacking against the concrete and I know she's walking half a step behind me.

As we past the school gates the wind picks up and thrust the scent of her perfume towards my nostrils, the sweet fragrance making me dizzy. I listen to the sound our shoes make as we get further away from King High, the soft padding sound of my rubber soled trainers and the rhythmic clicking of her high heels. We stop at a pedestrian crossing, the little man on the display a static red, I question whether or not Ashley remembers the route to my house, I almost want to turn off at an incorrect street to see if she says anything, I know I wont though. At one time we'd have been waiting and walking hand-in-hand in the innocent walk children do, blissfully skipping along, from A to B.

The journey from King to my house is silent, bar the noisy bustle of rush hour LA traffic, Ashley never once opening her mouth to speak, she walks silently to my right, my mind racing with memories, I'm as muted as her. Part of me is dreading what's to come, the other part nervously anticipating our impending tutoring session.


	5. Chapter 5

Feedback, 'tis my crack.

And those who have left some for the last updates, firmly rock my mismatched cotton socks.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Fall Out Boy** song "

* * *

Chapter 5

_**And the record won't stop skipping  
And the lies just won't stop slipping  
And besides my reputation's on the line**_

_March 27__th__ 2002_

She shifts lightly, her nose crinkling and twitching, arms locked safely around my waist, smiling as she rubs her cheek against the soft pillow beneath; she's dreaming. She always dreams when she's lying in my arms, our adolescent bodies entwined, nothing can hurt her, not whilst I'm here to protect her.

I'm always there when she needs me, even in her fitful dreams I'm here to soothe her, to rub her back, to kiss her head and shush her pained sobs. Not that she has many nightmares, not anymore at least, she used to when we were younger, but the more time, the more nights we spent together, the more nights for me to protect her and make her subconscious demons dissipate spent together, the less her sweet dreams turned to bitter nightmares.

She doesn't have to worry; I'm here to look after her. My sleeping angel.

Her right arm dislodges itself from around my waist and moves, of its' own accord, up to her face, the back of her palm carelessly rubbing against her nose before the limb droops limp with fatigue. A contented and dopey smile marring her sleeping features. Soft snores and slow, even breaths the only sounds to be heard in my still 'room, the shafts of moonlight flooding through the improperly closed curtains illuminating our chamber. Her porcelain face perfectly lit, her delicate features made angelic by the reflected light.

I don't bother to stifle the yawn that leaves my mouth, the effort too much for my already weary body, my eyes dart, briefly, to the digital clock on the nightstand just past my sleeping beauty. The LCD display informing me that it's twelve minutes after three in the morning, which means that I've been awake for about three quarters of an hour, awake and watching my companion sleeping softly. Taking in every detail that is offered to me, like the way her nose twitches every ten minutes or how small relaxed sighs leave her mouth without her lips parting. Every detail I'm allowed to memorise, I do. As if I'll never get the opportunity again.

My eyelids are becoming heavy, like there are a hundred tiny weights attached to my lashes, willing them to close. My yawns more frequent, the weariness with each heavy breath setting deeper into my mind. My body craving sleep, I'm forced to close my eyes, hoping the image of my sleeping cherub will remain burned into the backs of my eyelids.

The last coherent thoughts to pass through my young mind as I let my body descend into slumber only that of the angel I share my bed with, my best friend. Spencer Carlin.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the delicious feedback, it's sexarific.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Linkin Park **song "_Breaking The Habit_".

* * *

Chapter 6

_**Memories consume,  
Like opening the wound,  
I'm picking me apart again**_

_March 27__th__ 2003_

She kisses her way down my neck, my body tingling with every chaste touch. She's muttering and murmuring, her raspy words not reaching my ears, her breath heightening my arousal.

Her fingertips rake up and down my forearms, the cheap vodka in my bloodstream clouding my judgement, slowing my reactions, adding to the delicious tingle she's creating. A transparent potato-based haze making my head swim and my skin twitch with anticipation. Her mouth moves lower, her tongue lashing out to dampen the flesh beneath. My head rolls back, body arching into her, an empty vodka bottle and half eaten slice of birthday cake sides into my view, we shouldn't be doing this. There is no one in the world I trust more, or would rather be doing this with, her lips are the only ones I could ever want on me. But I know it's wrong. We're friends, just friends, that's all two girls are ever supposed to be. I want to stop her, to push her away, to remind her that we're both so young, that this is a huge step, and that our friendship will never be the same again, but my brain feels so heavy, weighted down by shot after shot of colourless alcohol. My arms feel like lead as I push her body away from mine, her pyjama covered form rolling onto the other side of the bed, cheeks flushed, she breathes heavily, an inebriated grin lazily sitting lopsidedly on her pink lips.

I snuggle into her side, various sections of our exposed flesh pressing together, our skin burning on to each other's. Her left arm languidly wraps around my curved back, her husky voice thicker than usual as she starts to whisper. My stomach drops to my knees as her words reach my ears, my lips automatically pressing against her neck, her voice wavers, her skin jumping under my warm mouth.

The alcohol sending both of us to sleep, the first time either of us had consumed any, we were unprepared for the full effect, the fear of what was to come the next day – _a hang over maybe, possible vomiting, or just a simple headache perhaps_ – never once crossing our minds.

I watch her chest steadily rise and fall, my head swimming with her actions; the feel of her lips, the muttered sweet-nothings, the shame I can still feel crashing through my body. Trying to quash the guilty bile that's rising in my throat, I nuzzle my nose into her neck, inhaling her; she smells so good. And if feels so good to be in her arms, but she said that she loves me and I can feel the shame stirring again.

I slam my eyes shut, trying to avoid her and the feelings that she invokes in me, breathing in deeply my senses are assaulted by Ashley Davies and my body becomes victim to my own fatigue as I drift into a restless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

As always, I can never express my gratitude for the feedback I receive, it's serious rockage.

_(For, __**Skye777 **__who wanted to know their ages, in chapter 5 they were 12 and in chapter 6 they were 13 – I had a tricky time trying to fiddle with their ages in relation to what they were doing and how sexually advanced people are at what ages, and when Spencer and Ashley's friendship went down the pan. It was just fiddly; hopefully it's not too hard to believe)._

**Disclaimer**: Characters from both One Tree Hill and Veronica Mars are mentioned in this part, I obviously don't own them.

For those who don't know/aren't sure (it will become clear why I'm mentioning it):

_Brooke, Lucas and Peyton_ are characters from **One Tree Hill **and _Logan Echolls_ is a character from **Veronica Mars**.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Atreyu **song_ "Ex's and Oh's"_

* * *

Chapter 7

_**Should've turned around like hell **_

_**Last time I got a taste of you **_

_**I should've turned and ran like hell **_

**_And I say we're through_**

* * *

_Present Day (Ashley's POV)_

Her hands shake as she fiddles with her keys, the chain they hang from dancing wildly, her eyes dart from the lock to my face, her nerves shining through her cobalt blue eyes. She mutters a swear word, hands jingling the keys furiously in the lock, almost falling through the door as it opens. It's been so long since I've seen her looking so flustered, the embarrassed blush she wears too adorable for someone of our age.

She closes the door behind us and asks me if I want a drink, and I wonder what happened to her and where she's been all this time.

* * *

_Two Months Prior (Spencer's POV)_

I silently sip my diet coke, watching her, she's shouting directly into Madison's ear, the pounding bass too consuming to hear anything being said. She gets up, her naturally curly hair bouncing as she does, she starts to make her way back to the loo's, but before she reaches the doors she stops as something on the other side of the club catches her eye. I follow her eye line and clock _what_ or should I say, _who_ has caught her eye, a redhead, she looks to be in her mid-twenties and she's eye-fucking Ashley. I turn my attention back to Aiden, he's completely oblivious to the lesbian eye-fuck his girlfriend is receiving; moron.

Redhead eye-fucker is following Ashley into the toilets, I chew on my lip before glugging down the rest of my diet coke and making my own way to the loo's. The door swinging shut behind me and I almost sigh at the lack of noise to be heard, the drum and bass music blocked out by two separate doors, of course it's not completely silent. Redhead eye-fucker is screaming and moaning and of course _begging for more_. A quick scan of the area confirms that she's urging _Ashley_ on, I wonder if she realizes that Ashley has a boyfriend, a himbo boyfriend, but a boyfriend nether the less.

She sounds like a wounded hyena, her pre-orgasmic noises consist of squeaking out the letter "I" over and over again, God I'd hate to have my ears anywhere near her mouth when she's coming, I'd be suffering from tinnitus for weeks after. Strangely I think Ashley's ears are well covered right now; by eye-fuckers legs.

Jealousy whips through my veins, indignation colouring my cheeks; it should be me, not some redheaded whore. Judging from her screaming I'd say Ashley is done _rocking her world_. I feel my eyes roll and I hear a stall door creaking open, the idea of being caught making the angry red pigmentation of my cheeks turn to an embarrassed pink blush. My feet shuffling around on the tiled floor, placing me in front of a row of sinks, my hands finding the taps, the cold water running over my warm digits.

I watch in my peripheral vision as Ashley comes into view, then the bitch she's just fucked, they kiss and Ashley leaves. This time I don't follow her, I just quietly leave myself and go home.

* * *

_Present Day (Spencer's POV)._

My hands can't stop shaking as I jam my keys into the locks on my front door, the sound of the chain I keep them on reaching my ears, mocking my inability to master the simplest of tasks when I'm in such close proximity to Ashley. I let my eyes quickly slide over to her, she looks amused, _damnit_! I feel like such a dork, I never used to be like this 'round her, I never scrutinized my own actions, she was always the one person I could be myself around and now when I'm near her I can barely get a sentence out, let alone open a _**fucking door**_! I shake my keys angrily as I try to turn them, the door flying open, my body almost hurling through the open doorway. I feel my cheeks burn, my blush snaking up to the tips of my ears, I feel like a dork. I smile sheepishly at Ashley and close the door behind her, my voice wavers as I ask if she'd like a drink.

* * *

_Two Months Prior (Ashley's POV)._

Aiden is squeezing my leg underneath the table, his hand is all sweaty, it's not nice. I try to jerk my leg out from under his grasp by crossing it over my other, but he seems intent on branding a large hand-shaped sweat stain onto my jeans. I quickly chug the rest of my cranberry and vodka, turning to Madison I tell that that I'm off to the toilet.

As I get up I feel her eyes on me, she's been watching me all night, the alcohol in my system giving me the extra burst of courage to stop and turn, seeking her out, urging her over with my eyes, she obeys and follows me into the toilets. I know what's about to happen, I've done it enough times. I still barely know why though, why it's so gratifying to give pleasure to total strangers, why it makes me feel better. But it does, so I continue.

No, I'm not a whore; I don't charge, I don't fuck just anyone and I don't let them touch me. The only person who I let touch me is Aiden, even though he can't make me cum, it seems almost stupid. But then I guess, that I'm stupid then.

My tongue flicks over her clit and her whole body twitches, and I find myself idly silently inquiring as to what her name is.

I'm not gay, and I'm not straight either. Nor am I bisexual, I just like girls, even though I date a guy. I only date Aiden because it's easier, and I don't have the energy to be _different_ in high school. He's jock and I'm a cheerleader, it's convenient, plus I think he's too dumb to realize that I'd rather be going down on his older sister than sucking him off.

I've known for so long, that I was different, not weird, not a freak, just different, I'm a girl with different tastes. Madison listens to _R'n'B_ and I listen to _Metalcore_. That's the only difference, she likes _blue_ and I like _green_. I would say that she likes dick and I like pussy, but that's obvious and tautologous.

I understand that it's not something wrong or disgusting and that it's perfectly normal for a girl to want to be with another girl, but most teenagers don't. And I never really wanted to deal with the backlash, I can't be bothered to spend my high school years being judged by morons because they can't open their narrow minds up. I never had the urge to remark to someone who's calling me a sexual deviant that he's spending the time telling me that I'm a sick freak, that he would normally spend watching lesbian porn. So I never came out, I never got called a _dirty dyke_ or a _sicko lesbo_, I never got judged for kissing another girl in a school hallway – nor did I ever kiss another girl in a school hallway, but that's besides the point – and I'm happy about it, happy for never getting judged for something that wasn't a choice.

Other than the girls I get off, there's only one other person who knows about my lady loving ways, and I haven't seen her in over three years. Spencer Carlin; my former best friend, my first kiss and my first love. She wasn't my first "French kiss" though, it was the night of my thirteenth birthday, and we had gotten drunk off of a half bottle of cheap vodka that my parents had in a cabinet somewhere. We kissed, or more correctly, I kissed her, we didn't open our mouths, because we didn't really know how. Or even why you'd want a wad of someone else's spit on your tongue, and I'm still not really that sure why, but it was innocent, even my fumbled attempts at groping her, not entirely sure what I was supposed to be touching, or how, were laced with childhood love. And I **was** in love with her, I had known that my feelings for her were as strong as a tornado for so long and finally on my thirteenth, I did something.

She couldn't look me in the eye afterwards. It felt like I had managed to rip away the last of her innocence that night, and I felt like shit because of it.

By the time the summer holidays rolled 'round our friendship had been reduced to a shell of its' former glory. And when my family went on it's annual trip to the middle of nowhere, I knew that when I got back for the start of the new school year, we wouldn't be sitting at the same lunch table again nor would we be over at each other's houses doing our homework together.

Nope, I fucked it all up.

The start of the new school year was the start of a new Ashley Davies, I became oddly popular, for once I was part of the "in crowd" I started to develop the breasts I had been pinning for, Madison became my new best friend and Spencer Carlin, well Spencer Carlin sunk into my past, the only part of her still remaining was my memories.

I looked for her, at the start at least, but I could never spot her, I never heard her name being spoken, never heard her voice. She just disappeared, almost as if she had never existed.

Over time I became the most popular girl in school, dating the star of King High's basketball team, I was the _all-American-girl_ archetype. I just fucked random girls for fun, maybe not so archetypal then.

It wasn't just a Spencer thing, that became very clear very fast. I'd lust after celebrities like **Rachel Bilson**, **Kristen Bell** and **Sophia Bush**, knowing full well that most teen girls weren't supposed to get themselves off to the idea of _Brooke telling Lucas to go fuck himself then hooking up with Peyton_. When Madison would drool over _Logan Echolls_, I'd be more interested in who his latest love interest was.

Oh no, I knew I wasn't your typical cheerleader.

It never bothered me and it was never a big thing, it was just another part of me, a part of me that my friends and family never saw, but still. It's all just _**Ashley Davies**_.

I bring the redhead to a screaming orgasm, although I'm not sure if she's a woman or a chimpanzee on crack by the sounds she's making. I can taste her on my tongue and I wonder if Aiden would notice if I kissed him, if _he_ would taste her on my tongue. The majority of his brain cells lie in his biceps so I doubt he would. Not that is matters.

I leave the stall, doing a quick sweep of the basins near the door, checking for anyone who might recognise me, I see no one and redhead appears. She latches her mouth onto mine and I kiss her back, the softness of her lips more pleasurable than Aiden and his need to get a better razor.

I leave the loo's, back to Madison and Aiden_, back to the façade_.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the sexariffic feedback, it's um thinks _sexariffic_. Seriously, you all rock for taking the time to leave the stuff.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Oasis** song "_What's The Story, Morning Glory_".

* * *

Chapter 8

_**All your dreams are made,  
When you're chained to the mirror and the razor blade,  
Today's the day that all the world will see,  
Another sunny afternoon,  
Walking to the sound of my favourite tune,  
Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon**_

_Present Day._

My body stutters as I lead Ashley towards the stairs, naturally going to my room to study, wont it be weird, having her in my room again, after all this time? I want to turn and ask her if it's okay, but that would probably make the situation more awkward. I'm such a loser. I hot-foot it up the stairs, hearing Ashley doing the same behind me, I push my bedroom door open, eyes scanning over the empty room. God I hope I don't have anything embarrassing laying on the floor, like underwear, or porn. I twitch as I imagine Ashley finding my modest collection of _lesbian themed movies_. That would be a bottom-clenching conversation to have with my former best friend who probably thinks I'm a weirdo anyway,

"_Wow Spencer, I didn't realize you had such an eclectic selection of movies, hmm what do we have here; Lesbian Spank Inferno and Debbie Does A Strap-On 7."_

I'd never say I was a porn connoisseur, but I do like to watch the stuff. I don't take it seriously, well not all of it, I'm a fan of pornographic spoofs such as _Lucky Number 69_, _Great Sexpectations_ and the lesser-known_The Merchant of Penis_. As they always seem to provide a good laugh, although most porn is usually found to be funny anyway. I, of course, also use pornography for its' intended purpose; as a masturbatory aid. But anyway, as I was saying, even though I enjoy a good skin flick, I wouldn't want Ashley finding my adult DVD's.

I hold the door open for Ashley as she walks in, her eyes cautiously peering around my room. I flick the lights on and gesture for her to sit by my desk, she pulls the chair out from under and plonks her bag on the floor as she sits down, waiting for me to join her. I give her a half smile as I sit down on the seldom-used chair next to her, unsure of how to actually tutor someone; I guess we'll just work it out as we go along.

"So, um, maths…" my voice sounds weak and I know it's going to be a long evening.

* * *

She looks nervous and her hands shake as she turns the pages in her mathematics textbook, her bottom lip getting caught between her teeth as she searches for the pages to correspond with our homework. 

I pick through my bag, grabbing my exercise book and glasses case, leaving my pen tin and textbook behind; I'll just use hers. She's still flipping through the pale pages of "Maths Key Skills Level 7" as I push my glasses up my nose, hearing her utter a triumphant, "Uhhuh!" as she finds the correct page. Spencer grins at me then looks away sharply, a crimson blush shading her cheeks, as I look at her – looking away guiltily, blushing as if she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar – the desire to kiss her fiercely builds inside of me, in a way I haven't felt for years. Only this time I _would_ know what to do next, and how to kiss her, in the characteristically French way.

She turns back to me, her eyes shining with the honest intention to help me with my learning difficulties.

"I uh, I didn't know you wore glasses." Her voice is more mature then I remember it being, but bar the odd little sentences we've exchanged in the last few days, I haven't heard her speak for over three and a half years.

I subconsciously go cross-eyed, as if she had just told me that there was a frog sitting on the end of my nose, I cough, insecure about my weakened sight, "Yeah, just for reading and using the computer and that sort of stuff, otherwise you know; I can't see," she blushes at little as I speak, her eyes darting a little, "I try not to wear them because they make me look like a dork."

"Oh no, no! They don't in fact, they make you look even more beautiful, and…" She trails off, her cheeks a deep crimson colour, her eyes bulging at the compliment that seemed to need no encouragement to fly out of her mouth. "I um, er, I, I mean that. You, um, should wear them more often because, uh, you know if you need them. Be-because otherwise it's bad for your eyes. Right?" She looks away and drops her head, her shoulders slumping, oblivious to how ridiculously adorable she is. In that moment I want nothing more than to reach over, push her head up, making her lock eyes with me, and fuck her senseless. Okay, maybe not that crudely, but I want her so much I can almost feel her lips on mine and taste her tongue as it would roll over my own.

I softly clear my throat, "So, were should we start?"

With her head still hung low, she looks like she's mentally berating herself, she lets out a shaky breath, "Um, I guess with tonight's homework. Uh, I'll see how you get on with it – question by question – that way I can figure out what your main problem is."

As she speaks I resist the urge to rest my hand on her thigh, my curiosity on how her jean-clad limb would feel underneath my palm as I gently squeezed, almost too much to bear. Swallowing hard, I grab a biro from on top of her desk and start to work on the first equation, Spencer watching over my shoulder the entire time.

* * *

I fight the urge to rest my chin on her shoulder, and I continue to peer over, my eyes locked on the mess of scribbles, incorrect mathematics and sums. 

"Okay, so what does _x squared_ equal?"

She chews on her bottom lip and she thinks, the biro in her hand carelessly tapping against the side of her chin, "_Four_?"

I sigh, for what seems like the thousandth time that evening, "No, no, _x squared_ equals sixteen. You see because _y is four_." I explain pointing at the equation question we're currently on.

Her brow creases as she mulls over what I've just said and I know that she's doing the sums in her head, "Oh yeah, I think I get it."

"You _think_ you get it?" I tease, lightly jabbing at her sides.

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"Good," I smile, "and finally; number twenty five."

"Right: _x plus y equals seventeen, y minus eight equals one. What is the value of x_?" I grin at the thoughtful voice she's using.

She starts to right her working down, when the obnoxious sound of her ring tone breaks through the comforting silence in my bedroom, God I hate **Sexy Back**. Seriously it's not just the most annoying song of last year, but the pain-in-the-arse jokes that it sparked too, and every airhead bimbo that's echoed that they "_brought sexy back._" JT needs to die for that abomination. Better yet, he needs to be cock-dropped for it.

Ashley grabs her phone, her eyes rolling as she quickly checks the caller display, flipping the phone open she starts to talk.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable in my room, and not wanting to eavesdrop on her conversation, I excuse myself to go and get a drink, pulling the door ajar as I leave.

* * *

"Yeah, uh-huh…. Yeah, I know I said that I'd call…. I didn't realize what time is was…. Yeah, sorry. There's nothing Earth shattering you wanted to tell me was there? _Hmm_." I let him ramble on, droning on about basketball and something about a bench? 

My fingers idly roll over Spencer's desk, curiously opening one of the draws I clock the tidy mess that lies within; a few pens, a large pad of paper, a sponge for some reason and general clutter. I "_uh-huh_" into the phone once more as I lightly pluck a photograph from under a book, it's the type that you get from instant photoboths, the kind where you have four separate photographs each taken at five second intervals. I know I'm smiling as I regard the two girls in the photos, it's Spencer and myself about seven years ago. In the first photo, we're both innocently smiling widely at the camera, in the second, Spencer is still facing the camera, but I've turned to look at her, my heart gives a little squeeze as I look at the third image, Spencer is still looking forward, but I've apparently forgotten the camera and have just pressed my lips to her cheek. In the forth image I've pulled back a little, but I'm still staring at Spence', and she's blushing furiously, her large grin even larger, her face angling towards mine. I sigh down the phone, quickly thrusting the paper into my schoolbag.

Aiden is still blathering into my ear as I tell him that _I've got to go and I'll see him tomorrow_, my free hand pushing the draw closed as Spencer walks back into the room holding a glass of juice.

I waste no time in gathering up the rest of my belongings as I thank Spencer for her help and say that I'll see her at school, she looks disappointed but smiles at me anyway.

---------

I lay in bed bored, one hand rests between my head and my pillow and the other is playing with the flapping curtain to my side, the breeze from the open window fluttering across my exposed flesh, leaving my skin tingling with a pleasurable chill. Sighing, I think back to my afternoon, walking to Spencer's house, our comfortable first tutoring session and then Aiden ruining it. I sigh again and light scratch my stomach, Aiden and Spencer always seem to get in the way of each other, with neither realizing. I wonder if she knew, I wonder if there was something in my eyes that gave it away? Something that screamed, "_When my boyfriend fucks me, I think about you_." I doubted it, at least, I hoped not. Although more recently I've been thinking about Sophia Bush between my legs instead of Aiden, but that's only because I didn't know Spencer was still around.

Spencer was the first girl I ever wanked over though, and she was whom I thought of the first time I had Aiden inside of me, I think that proves my love for her. I roll my eyes at the idea.

_He slowly pushes into me and I want to squirm, but I know it will only make me ache more, someone should really explain to Aiden what lubricant is for. Seriously Aiden, lube; it's not your enemy. _

_It hurts, having him inside me; it feels uncomfortable and unnatural. _

"_You know, if it were me, I'd make you cum so hard you wouldn't even be able to remember your own name." Her eyes dance with mirth as she speaks, her nose nuzzling into my neck._

"_But I'd tease you first, I'd make you beg with want." She husks directly into my ear, her fingertips lightly trailing over my tummy, "We'd both know what I was going to do, but I'd make you wait," she sighs, "I'd make myself wait. I'd be teasing myself as much as you, your body screaming to be touched and pleased, my body screaming to touch and please you."_

_She kisses my cheek, sighing as she tentatively slips a finger into me, "You'd be so wet, so wet for me, your body telling me that I was the one for you. The one arousing you." She slowly thrusts the finger in and out of me, her eyes fixed on my face, watching my reactions._

"_Then I'd add another finger," as she speaks I feel another thin digit slipping into my wet heat, "going slightly faster, pushing slightly deeper," she holds my face in place, her eyes penetrating my soul as her fingers penetrate my body. _

"_You'd ask me for more, you'd whimper for a third finger," She laughs softly, "you'd beg for me to touch your clit."_

_I gulp, my voice wavering as I start to speak, "P-please Spencer, th-three fingers?" Her sapphire eyes darken with lust as she adds a third finger, probing deeper, "Anything to you, Ashley, anything you want."_

_My eyes close, the feelings Spencer's sparking in me too powerful to keep my heavy eyelids open, "An-anything?"_

"_Anything." She sounds so strong and confident, "You want me to make you cum Ashley, it's okay, say it."_

"_Fuck Spencer, just make me... ah crap! Make me cum, I don't care how, just don't stop what you're doing, if feels so good." Her laugher dances in my ears and I finish speaking, well I say speaking, it's more like whimpered pleading. _

_My eyes roll back in my head as I feel a firm digit stroke over my harden clit, I beg her not to stop, my voice low a muttered._

"_I'm sorry." Her voice is so clear, her fingers stilling within me, "it's time to go back to reality." _

_Huh? _

"_Maybe I'll really make you beg for it one day."_

_He goes limp, falling against me, his sweat making my skin itch. "That was amazing, that, phew, that was the best sex ever. We should win an award for that. Wow."_

_That was possibly the worst sex had by anyone, anywhere, ever._

_He rolls off of me and grins up at the ceiling, "You were great, babe." _

_I hate the word babe, really how does it pass as a term of endearment? The only thing worse than babe is "baby", it makes my skin crawl._

I laugh sardonically to myself; after he left that night I fingered myself into a frenzy, craving Spencer, aching to feel her inside of me. I might not have gotten to find out what it felt like to have my former friend moving inside of me, but I did at least make myself climax, my right hand more skilled than Aiden's winkie.

That was the first of many "practice sessions" for my nimble little fingers, they've gotten much more action since, ending up in various different women all across LA. I wonder what it would be like to finger Spencer.

I admit it, I have a filthy mind, really it's crude up there. I've lost count of the amount of times I've watched girls in Grey, silently speculating about how many fingers I'd easily be able to fit inside of them. Pervy as fuck, I know, but it's more interesting than listening to Aiden prattle on about basketball and weight lifting.

As I lay here I can't help but imagine her flawless face, scrunching up in pleasure as I use my tongue to bring her to an Earth-shattering climax. I'd fuck her to within one inch of her life, as she'd love every minute of it. I softly shake my head, I might be dirtier than most would expect, but I'm even worse at the moment, and it makes my stomach tingle with shame.

_Sigh_. Before I even realize what I'm doing, my fingers have slipped past the waistband of my boxer shorts and I'm rubbing my swollen nub, all the while thinking of Spencer. Her azure eyes sparkling, her lower lip caught between her pearly white teeth, her head disappearing between my legs and my own rolling back against my pillow.

---

I carelessly wipe my fingers on my boxers, coming down from my self-induced high. Yawning I sit up in bed and swing my legs over the side, slowly making my way over to my computer, my bottom swiftly coming into contact with my desk chair, I should really go to sleep soon.

I check my email, deleting my new messages – information on cheap Valium and how to enlarge my penis; fascinating spam. Really, I don't know how I could possibly go one day without getting messages about my smaller than average penis?

I stifle a yawn, changing websites, half naked women adorning my screen, I quickly key something into the search box and within seconds two blonde girls are bouncing around and exchanging bodily fluids. I rub my eyes, closing my browser and shutting my computer down; it's all so pedestrian.

I stand up, listening to my knees pop and click, and someone is rapping on my door. I yawn again, opening the door, it's two in the morning and Glen is fidgeting in front of me, he's wearing boxers and a t-shirt, just like me, siblings in our pyjamas.

"What do you want, Cheese-Head?"

He rolls his eyes at the nickname that I lovingly gave him when we were seven, "Madison."

Well, _lucky_ Madison, "What about her?"

"Stop being such a moron, doofus…" Like that even makes sense.

"…You're a doofus." I inform him, cutting into what he was saying.

"Ash', I'm too tired for this. I just," he shifts from one foot to the other, "I need your help," he twitches, obviously uncomfortable, "I kinda, sorta, really like Madison."

I roll my eyes, "And you kinda, sorta, really want me to talk to her about you?" I mimic, knowing that I'm pissing him off, and rightly so, it is my sisterly duty after all.

Glen clears his throat, "Kinda, yeah. Like maybe set us up on a date?" He looks hopeful and it's kind of sweet, in a really disgusting way.

"Sure, whatever. I'll talk to her at school later." He grins like a little boy who's just been given a bowl of sugar-cubes. "Is that all, Cheese-Head?"

He nods happily, throwing a "Thanks" over his should as he turns and walks off to his own bedroom. And I go to bed, knowing that it won't be long before I'm asleep.


	9. Chapter 9A

Thanks for all the feedback, really it's my crack. Well it's not, crack is my crack, but feedback is right up there.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the song "_Oh Mandy_" by **The Spinto Band**.

* * *

Chapter 9A

_**It's looking quiet as I jump in,  
So I can finally hear you scream,  
You got a gnome in the backyard,  
You put him right on the X mark,  
You're eating brains out the back of my head,  
Oh yeah, that's where the money is**_

* * *

_Present Day._

My right hand instinctively shoots out to smack my alarm clock, the shrill sound it's emitting hastily stopping, I yawn and force myself to get up. Well I _try_ to force myself to get up, but I fail and stay exactly when I am, far too comfortable to move. Wriggling around in the cocoon of warmth I had created for myself just by laying in one spot throughout the night, I let out a contended sigh and bring my hand up to my face, letting it hover in front of my eyes. I stare at the faded scar that diagonally marks my palm, it runs from the base of my index finger to the top of my wrist, and it's a constant reminder of her.

_September 2__nd__ 1997._

I swing my legs back and forth, each arm locked around a different branch on either side of my body as I try to coax Spencer up, but she continues to protest.

"C'mon Spence', your _Ashy-Bear_ is all alone up here."

She stubbornly shakes her head at me, "Then my _Ashy-Bear_ should come down here and play with her _Spencie_, then she won't be lonely."

"Pweety pweeeze Spencie, with sugar and a cherry on top, pweeze. It's not that high up and I know you can do it." I pout at her, even though I'm seven or eight feet above the ground I know she can see it and Spencer never can deny me when I pout at her.

She hesitates, I know she can see my protruding bottom lip, but she relents and starts to climb, her face a picture of concentration as she reaches out to grab onto the higher branches.

I smile at her she gets nearer to me, my legs still swinging back and forth as she looks up at me her grin mirroring my own, "I'm doing it Ashley, I can't believe I'm doing it."

I think she might finally be over her fear of heights as she gets closer to where I sit, and I'm so proud of her. As she beams up at me, I untangle an arm and reach out to her, offering my hand for her to join me on my branch. Her eyes flicker with fear as her body slips backwards, her feet fly out from under her only serving to propel her further back, faster. I sit and watch in horror as she freefalls over twice her height, her body hitting the ground with a thump and a light snapping sound.

Before I can even blink I've thrown myself 'round the tree and am hurriedly making my way down, barely registering as my palm snags on a protruding piece of bark, my feet moving too fast to let me stop and survey the damage.

The soles of my trainers smack on the hard turf around the base of the tree as I jump the last few steps, rushing to Spencer's side, my hand starting to throb.

She looks up at me, her eyes are already red and she's softly whimpering like a wounded animal, the bottom half of her dungarees is covered with blood and a jagged rock has ripped through the material of the left trouser leg. The cotton lays ripped, the leg open for the world to see, I peek past the blood and dirt covering her tanned legs, and see something that makes my stomach lurch, unaware that it was possible for the bone to break and rip through the skin like that. I had seen Glen do something similar to one of his Ken dolls once, but seeing Spencer sprawled out on the ground with the same type of wound made me want to vomit.

I look back up at her face, her blue eyes cloudy, her mouth open, a pained _o_ expression on her face and I feel guilty for making her climb when she didn't want to. I look back down at her leg, blood still pouring from the open gash, nodding I run as fast as I can back into my house, leaving Spencer outside completely vulnerable. I barely notice as I start to shout for my parents, frantically searching for a grown-up to help.

The ambulance came quickly, it turned up just as Spencer was starting to black out, her entire leg was paralysed with pain. The paramedics got her into the back of the ambulance as soon as they could, the elder one hoisting me up and into the vehicle too, telling me that I was going to need stitches on my hand, I didn't care though, just as long as my Spencie was okay.

* * *

_Present Day._

I stand naked in front of my bathroom mirror, staring back at my own reflection, eyes skimming over my bare form, my gaze stilling on my abdomen, fingertips tracing over an embossed scar. My digits running over the perfectly formed indentation in my skin, a mere inch to the right of my kidney on the same side. The paled skin feels spongy underneath the weight of my fingers, the memory of the wound making me relive the night I was awarded the lifelong marking.

_3 Months Prior._

Damnit LA is cold tonight! It's so cold it's like an English Summer. It's hardly surprising, it is December after all, but still, _brr_! Ah crap, now that I've thought "brr", I'm now thinking "_it's cold in here, there must be some Clovers in the atmosphere_." Sonofabitch, **Bring It On** ruined my life! I only wanted to see that film for the girls in short skirts jumping around, and I'm left with crappy "cheers" in my head.

But yes, it's cold tonight, we're in the final week of school before the winter holidays and I'm in true festive Scrooge spirit, _bah humbug_ and all that jazz with an extra helping of S_anta can shove a candy cane up his pink arse_. I honestly loathe this time of year for so many reasons, I can't even be bothered to list them all off, it's just all bullshit, that's the long and short of it. I'm not a religious girl, but I don't see why everyone buys into the commercialisation of Christmas, the birth of the messiah you say? Hmm, now what's the best way to celebrate that? Oh, I know! Ridiculously overpriced gifts, faux snow, a fat man in a red suit, and Brussel sprouts. Gee wilikers, that sure sounds like the most logical way to celebrate the birth of the saviour for a whole religion! What will they think of next, hollow chocolate eggs to commemorate the death of the messiah maybe?

I loathe the festive season and I'm not dressed for the chilly weather, so I'm _brr_'ing. There's only one reason why I'd be walking so far out of my way on a cold evening like tonight. And she's a little way in front of me, talking on her mobile phone, making plans with Madison for the weekend. It's not long before she's finished her phone call and has put her mobile back in her jeans pocket.

I shiver once more and look up wistfully at the sky, it's almost pitch black already, well no, that's bollocks it's not pitch black, it never is, but it's already dark, the sky melding from navy to indigo. I'm awestruck as I continue to stare, the stars already out, twinkling so peacefully, I know that Ashley is getting ahead, but it doesn't matter, I know where she is. I know the route off by heart. I know that she's just turned off from the main road, using a little alley as a short up, shaving an extra ten minutes off of her journey. So when I hear her scream I know exactly where to find her.


	10. Chapter 9B

For all those who've left feedback - you all rock like a big slab of igneous.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the song _"__Le Disko__"_ by **Shiny Toy Guns**

I've written better, but meh, posting and all, so you know, badoombah(!) here it is.

* * *

Chapter 9B

**_Hello little boys, little toys  
We're the dreams you're believing  
Crawling up the walls  
Running down your face  
Razor sharp, razor clean  
Feel the weapon's sensation  
On your back...  
With loaded guns_**

* * *

My feet smack down on the pavement as I unthinkingly run towards the source of the scream, my heart pounding in my chest, fear for Ashley making my lungs convulse, I know I don't have to go far, but every second I'm not there is another second for something awful to happen. 

I reach the alley and my body freezes, the soles of my trainers glued to the concrete, there's a man, about six foot tall, the alley is too dark to see what he looks like or guess his age, but he hold a knife in his hand, it keeps catching the moonlight as his arms wave around, almost manically. He's nervous, that or he needs a fix or something, his movements erratic, his voice as unsteady as his hands, he's shouting at Ashley, he wants her money, her valuables, anything she has that's worth more than ten bucks. She's not moving, I can see the fear in her eyes from where I'm stuck, she's petrified, she wants to comply, but she can't. And I can't let him hurt her.

I want to do something, anything, something useful. I want to leap forward and rescue my damsel in distress, I want to assess the situation, I need to choose the best form of attack, but my mind is covered by a thick fog-like fear, which really fucks me over.

My feet finally move, my body aimed at the assailant, pushing into him, trying to knock the knife from his hand whilst shielding Ashley.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" my voice wavers with fear and an uncertainty, my choice of words horrible.

Ashley falls away, and I pray that she's run off as fast as her legs can carry her; I just want her to be safe. Her attacker seems surprised before focusing his attention on me, knife still very much in his hands. We scuffle, it's confused, hands and legs tangling, trying to gain the advantage, I want to get the knife away from him and he probably just wants to get what he can and then run away from this disaster.

He knocks me backwards, my back colliding with a brick wall, which to be fair, hurts like a motherfucker – I've never been thrown against a wall and I hope never to be thrown against a wall again, aside from managing to bruise the entirety of your back in one fell swoop it also really knocks the wind out of you. It's a major distraction, and when you're fighting a knife-wielding attacker the last thing you want to do is loose your concentration.

I try to recover and grab hold of his arms, unfortunately my attempts and unsuccessful and he shouts something at me. I can see the nervousness in his eyes; he's a good guy who's made some bad decisions, now he's broke, his got a wife and two kids to feed, but with barely any money coming in. What's the harm in jacking a rich kids wallet? His children can eat and a snooty teenager gets a new purse, there's nothing wrong with that right? I can see it all in his eyes, he's disgusted with himself, holding a teenage girl at knifepoint, but he doesn't see another option.

He wants, nay, _needs_ money, and I take pity on him. We're still scuffling and I'm trying to reach into my pocket, he thinks I'm reaching for a weapon, it's instinctive, _attack is the best form of defence_, I can see it written over the back of his eyes. It happens so quickly, blink and you'd miss it, our bodies are shrouded in the darkness of the unlit alley, but for a brief moment his blade stops shinning, it disappears, out of the reaches of the moonlight. It's so cold and so sharp, sharp enough to puncture and pierce my flesh without force, and it hurts; it slices right through. The blade sits deep within my abdomen for what feels like an eternity and he can see it in my eyes, the muted agony. He can see my pain and I can see his remorse.

The knife rips from my body, it catches the moonlight once more and he thrusts it into his coat pocket, but this time the blade is sheathed in blood. My blood.

My hands shake, thin green bills falling from my opened fist, his eyes are wide with regret and fear as they shift to the money flitting to the ground, he reaches down, grabbing the notes and he doesn't look back as he runs away. The soles of his shoes fiercely smashing onto the pavement, his hurried footsteps getting quieter and quieter as he gets further and further away.

My body lies flush against the wall, pain rocketing through my tummy, and that's when I hear it. A soft sound, it's to my right, her eyes catching the moonlight, she's thanking me, her knight in shining armour, I saved her.

She's hugging me, her body still shaking with fear, her arms so tight around me, I can barely breathe. Every inch of her upper body is pressed against mine, and the pain is almost unbearable, her stomach so firmly pressed against my own, blood still pouring from my stab wound.

She pulls away, thanking me again, but she starts to frown, her hands reaching down, pressing against her own stomach, her fingers coated with blood. My blood. Her eyes widen with fear, mouth opening in horror, and I run, I run as fast as I can for as long as I can. Which in actual fact is neither far, nor fast, my legs getting heavier and heavier as I try and get away.

-----------------

_Present Day_

By some twisted luck, I managed to make it to the hospital, having lost far too much blood for my own comfort. It was easy enough for the doctors to just get me sewn up, making sure my blood was restocked, they let me go two days later.

My fingers are still tracing the wound. Ashley doesn't take that short cut anymore, and I don't really blame her.

Sometimes I wonder if she knows, part of me thinks that she recognised me, but I know no matter what happened between us, if she had known that it was me who had saved her, I shake my head at my own reflection – she would have found me at my locker, she would have thanked me in person. I know it. I just know it.

The one thing that I learned that day was that I loathe violence and fights, I'm useless in them, I can't defend myself to save my life, internally I roll my eyes – bad choice of words – either way, I can't stand the pain.


	11. Chapter 10

As always, thanks for the feedback, it's truly appreciated.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Oasis** song "_Champagne Supernova_". If you've never heard it, and even if Britpop really isn't your thing, I still urge you to listen to it, it's such a sexariffic song.

* * *

Chapter 10

_**Slowly walking down the hall  
Faster than a cannon ball  
Where were you when we were getting high?  
Some day you will find me  
Caught beneath the landslide  
In a champagne supernova in the sky.**_

* * *

I sigh flopping down next to Madison, "What kind of English teacher gives a pop-quiz? Really I can't feel my hand anymore, I wrote _that_ much."

"Mrs Luck is loco, we both know this." She pauses pursing her lips, "Anyway, are you up for a shopping trip after school?"

"We've got practice, remember?"

"I meant after practice, duh."

"Mad's," I shake my head, when Madison wants to go shopping, Madison goes shopping, no matter what, "Before I left earlier my parents told me to get home straight after practice, something about a family dinner."

"So your mum's got the night off of work again?"

"Got it in one. How about we go shopping tomorrow, we finish at three instead of four so we have more time to max out our credit cards." I suggest flashing her a winning smile.

"I love how your mind works Davies," she smiles deviously, her dark eyes sparkling, "And after we hit the mall we can get ready and head out to Grey; it's going to be a great night girl, so much man candy!"

I shift uncomfortably and smile politely at her, "Mad's you know I'm…."

"With Aiden, yada-yada." She cuts me off, rolling her eyes, "That doesn't mean that you can't still guy-surf - there's nothing wrong with window shopping whilst you're broke."

I roll my eyes at her as she flips her hair, for no reason, "Madison, you know I don't like to, uh, _guy-surf_." Which isn't a lie, I really don't, I do however like to perv' on hot girls.

_Sigh_, I'm such a guy sometimes.

"I know you don't girl, I guess that just means more male cutlets for me!"

What's really worrying is that Glen talks about women in the same way, half the time I don't know if he's talking about a girl or a burger. Ah, Glen, that reminds me, "Mad's,"

She raises her brow at me, wordlessly telling me to go on, "You know Glen…"

"The looser you're related to?" she replies, idly thumbing her nails.

"The very same…"

"What about him?"

It's a very good question, and it makes me wonder why exactly, I'm willing to try and set him up with Madison, when he's a jerk most of the time… Oh yeah, he's my brother and despite my best efforts I do love him. Damn genetics!

"Well, he has a thing for you," I shrug, "He wants to go out with you, and very possibly hump you in the backseat of his car."

It may have been crude but it was pretty accurate. I don't know what it is about his car, but he certainly likes to bang girls in it, that's why I refuse to travel in it anymore. I remember coming home from a night out a few weeks ago and as I neared his car I noticed it was _bouncing_, I swear he could have worn out his suspension that night. Oh ew, I really need to stop this train of thought. Suffice to say, my brother is a disgusting creature.

"As do most of the guys at King, you know what girl, make that most of the guys in LA, and I can't blame them."

One day I think Madison's ego will actually suffocate her, "And I'm sure you'll get through most of them before you go off to college. But for now, can't you just as agree to one date with Glen, I dunno, like ask him to tag along to Grey tomorrow or something." I let the idea soak in her head for a moment, "And if you can't stand it, then you can always get drunk."

"Okay girl, you've sold me. Oh I have to tell you about…"

Her voice fades into the background as I feel a pair of eyes on me, a pleasant shiver rushes down my spine as I glace around, searching for whoever has their gaze locked on me. A curtain of blonde hair comes into view as I lock eyes with Spencer, her cheeks flushing as she looks away, the guilt of being caught colouring her face. She smiles shyly as she turns her gaze back to me, ducking her head away when she sees I'm still looking at her. I grin at her sheepishness and turn my attention back to Madison, soon feeling a familiar set of eyes on me. It's good to feel wanted.


	12. Chapter 11a

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Linkin Park** song "_Faint_", sigh weren't _Hybrid Theory_ and _Meteora_ such brilliant albums? Really, there was some serious tuneage there, but _Minutes To Midnight_ is pants in comparison.

As always, to everyone, thanks for the feedback, it's much loved.

I've split this part into two because I'm very lazy, that's why it only looks like a semi-part.

* * *

Chapter 11a

_**I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard  
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact  
That everybody can see these scars  
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel  
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you  
To just believe this is real

* * *

**_

I listen to the soft green rubber soles of my shoes softly beating against the pavement as I continue to both track Ashley and purposely add over an hour to my journey. She abruptly stops in front of a designer store and I force my body to a standstill as well, trying to blend in with my surroundings, I turn to face the shop I'm loitering outside of… _**Steph's Erotic Cakes, The Dirtiest Pastries This Side of Amsterdam.**_ Oh that's brilliant…. hrmm, I wonder if they sell funnel cake…. I can't see any, just a Victoria sponge in the shape of an…. Oh that's disgusting!

I glance to my left and luckily Ashley has moved on, swiftly moving away from the patisserie I resume my hobby; stalking my ex-best friend. Maybe I should be seeing a therapist, stalking isn't really the healthiest thing to be top of my list of hobbies. I internally shrug and pause in front of another store as Ashley does likewise several doors up the road. She's looking at shoes and I'm looking at stuffed sheep? Oh, it's _**Jo's Toy Warehouse**_ and huzzah there's a special on cuddly livestock this week. Why is this shop just up the road from the dirty bakery? What is wrong with LA!

I turn away from the shop window to once again resume following Ashley, she really does look beautiful today, she's just wearing a pair of hip-hugging jeans and a simple… oh fuck she's looking at me. What do I do, _what do I do?!_

"Spencer?" her face scrunches up in confusion, obviously she hasn't forgotten that I live nowhere near here.

She repeats herself as she advances towards me, _oh crap, oh crap._

"Uh, hi." I manage to squeak out and lamely wave at her. Congratulations Carlin, you've started squeaking.

She smiles and comes to a halt just in front of me, "What are you doing here?"

_Sigh_, such a good question it's such a shame that the truth would find me the owner of a shiny new restraining order. "Um," I'm squeaking again, my eyes darting around, searching for a valid excuse, "I, uh," I can see a life-size cut-out of Superman in an open doorway just in front of me, sadly I don't want to tell Ashley that I frequent _**Chloe's Comics**_ after school. "Well as soon as I got home I realised that," my eyes are still darting around, there has to be something believable somewhere… bingo! "I had some serious cravings for waffles, er, I mean pancakes so…" I clumsily gesture towards the IHOP across the street and weakly smile at her.

She follows my signal and then looks back at me, "IHOP?"

I cough nervously, "Exactly, you know, it's the nearest so, um, yeah, pancakes," the faux smile I wear starting to make my cheeks hurt.

"Okay," she smiles warmly at me, my insides starting to melt, "anyway I better get home before my parents think I've been kidnapped," she emits a soft laugh, "but it was nice seeing you Spence'."

"You, uh you too, it was uh, good." I stumble and trip over my words with a lack of ease that you'd equate with a lobotomy patient.

Ashley turns and walks away, quickly sending another genuine smile over her shoulder before disappearing around a corner and I'm left standing along, smiling like a fool. _She called me Spence'…_


	13. Chapter 11b

Thanks for all the feedback, 'tis sexariffic.

I'm not happy with this part, but meh, what are you gonna do?

Again, the lyrics at the beginning are from the **Linkin Park **song "_Faint_".

* * *

Chapter 11b

_**So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got**_

_The Next Day_

I pop another _Cheeto_ into my mouth as he plonks down next to me on the sofa, I offer him the bag and start my over-due talk. "Look Aiden, I know you've been dating Ashley for a while and we've never had this conversation, but, I think it's kind of important."

He takes the bag and gulps down a couple of the neon-orange snack, "Davies, just because I'm dating your sister, that doesn't mean I'm going to let you win when we play _SmackDown vs. Raw_."

"Pft, I could beat you with my hands tied behind my back, you fight like a girl, Dennison." He does, he really does, my mum could probably beat him.

"Whatever." He mutters rolling his eyes.

"Anyways, you're my buddy and all, but I swear to God, if you ever hurt Ashley, I will hunt you down and beat the crap out of you," he looks at me funny and starts to laugh at the threat, "I'm not kidding, you hurt my little sister and I will not be held responsible for my actions." She might be a pain in the butt, but if anyone hurts Ashley, then they've got Glen Davies to deal with.

"Okay." He says holding his hands up in mock defeat.

"Good, I just had to get that out there, you know… so, you wanna play some _Dance Revolution_?"

"Hell yeah!" Aiden's eyes light up as he breaks out into a huge grin, jumping off of the sofa.

I pause, standing in front of the tv, ready to set everything up, "You don't it's a gay game, do you?" I ask turning to face him.

"What? No! Pft, why'd you think that?" He rolls his eyes in my general direction, before his grin grows a little more, "Ooh, we should dance to _Baby One More Time_!"

* * *

_Later On, Across Town_

"Madison really, you've got a booty J-Lo would be jealous of and you can shake it like nobody's business, can't you just decide on what to wear, so we can get going?"

"Relax gurrl," she pauses to look at herself in the mirror, "I'm almost… you know what, I think I'm going to wear the green dress after all."

"The green dress," I let out an exasperated sigh as I glance at the clock near the door, "you mean the first thing you tried on, fifty-two minutes ago?"

"Relax chica, we've got plenty of time," I roll my eyes as she purses her lips in front of the mirror, donning her original choice of clothing, "before Glen and Aiden pick us up anyway."

"Ten minutes, Mad'."

"What's up with you Ashley, you've been acting weird for a couple of days?" she sits down next to me, fiddling with a pair of strappy stilettos.

"Nothing," I lie, just like always, "I just really wanna get drunk," like always. After all, what's a Friday night without underage drinking?

She eyes me suspiciously as the doorbell rings, "Whatever, go and let the boys in, Ash'."

I nod, knowing that she won't press me anymore about it, tonight at least, and make my way through the endless maze also known as _casa de Duarte_.

When I answer the door Aiden kisses me on the cheek and Glen makes a vomiting sound, "I don't need to see you feelin' up my little sis', Dennison."

"Pft, if you don't like it, don't look, Davies."

I roll my eyes at the two and push myself out of Aiden's embrace, "Madison is just coming, she's just…"

"Making herself look beautiful for me, right?" Glen asks, giving a toothy grin. He's grinning, but he still looks like he could whitey out from his nerves any second.

"Glen, can I put my stuff in your car?"

He dismissively waves his hands in the general direction of where he parked outside, "Sure, just put your crap on the backseat…"

"No! It's going in the boot."

"Whatever… whoa!" He trails off, his jaw going slack as Madison comes into view, her heels clicking on the wooden staircase.

"You know you can put your stuff in my car, babe." I silently cringe at the term of endearment as he wraps his arm around my shoulders, bringing my body close to his again.

I wriggle in his embrace a little, getting comfortable with his arms around me, and mutter something about it being easier and not forgetting.

* * *

_Later On, Somewhere Else Across Town_

I _must_ be a glutton for punishment. The base is heavy, the bodies are sweaty and I'm growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. I've got to have a hidden sadomasochistic streak, otherwise why would I be here? Oh yeah, that's right, the answer is a five foot three brunette with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, and she's just across the dance floor, making my heart palpitate every time I get a clear view of her.

Aiden is sitting on her left, pawing her as usual and she looks as uninterested as usual, and Madison is on her right, and from what it looks like she's here with Glen. Poor guy. I always liked Glen, and I think for the most part he liked me, but it was pretty easy to get on with all of the Davies clan. They are, or at least, were, just a really nice and easygoing family.

Something is bugging Ashley tonight, I can see it from all the way over here, she's much more fidgety than usual. Maybe I only noticed because I've had my eyes trained on her since I got here tonight, but something seems off, she keeps looking around, searching the club for something; for someone. If I wasn't in such a dark corner then I'm sure she would have spotted me by now, she's looked right past me more than twice this evening, which is scaring the crap out of me. I'm on her radar now; I have to be more careful. Which sucks for me, because I'm so used to just watching and following, knowing that I'd never get caught, I'm now going to have to train myself to stealth it up. My moves will make 007 jealous, that is of course, if I can get them right.

Fuck she's looking at me again. Well not _at_ me, just as the dark part of the club that I'm frequenting, and it's unnerving as hell. Her eyes seem to rest on me and my heart rate picks up, oxygen getting caught in my throat as I hold my breath, terrified that she knows I'm here.

The jockstrap starts feeling her up, effectively drawing her attention away from me and my dark corner, and I'm up out of my seat and out of the door before anyone can blink.

I lean against the exterior of the club as I let out a shaky breath, my heart is still thundering in my ears and I feel like such a wimp. I push myself away from the wall and head home, in need of time to think.

-------------------------

_Even Later That Same Night_

My teeth are brushed, my "pyjamas" are on and after just under five years, I've finally found the most comfortable spot in my bed – I could not be more comfortable if I tried and I'm mere seconds away from falling into a blissful slumber. That is until an urgent rapping at my front door forces me to get up, out of my comfy bed and trudge downstairs. My body is tired and upset that I dragged it away from imminent peace and rest, I have no idea who could be at the front door and if I was a different kind of person, I'm sure I'd let them know how much of a pain in the bottom they are, but sadly, I'm not.

I yawn, unlocking the door, and letting it open, jaw dropping when Ashley pushes past me and starts up the stairs. I blink once, then twice and then rub at my eyes for good measure, closing the door behind me; I Ashley's disappearing form up the stairs, confused as hell.

I reach the top of the stairs and she's nowhere to be found, I try calling out to her and get no reply. I peer around the dark landing, feeling like I'm in a cheesy horror movie, convinced that a serial killer is about to jump out at me, shrugging I head for the only room that Ashley would, logically, go to; my bedroom.

I stand outside, looking through my open doorway, squinting through the darkness, resigning myself to the fact I can't see a damn thing, I mutter out an obscenity and venture into my room, urging my eyes to adjust to the lack of light. I'm about to call out her name again when I hear a faint giggling, but before I have time to register what's what, I feel myself being pushed backwards, thrust against the wall and her lips are burning onto my own.


	14. Chapter 11c

Thanks for all the feedback, 'tis funderful.

Sorry, it took so long to get this part posted, but my life got in the way, anywho, if feels weird, so I probably could have made it better, but _meh, what're you gonna do?_

And once more, the lyrics at the beginning are from the **Linkin Park** song "_Faint_".

* * *

Chapter 11c

_**I can't feel the way I did before,  
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored  
Time won't heal this damage anymore**_

_**Cont.**_

For the first time in four years her lips are on my own once more and my stomach is swiftly dropping to my ankles, hurrying past my knees to make them weak. Her lips are hungry and her tongue is urgent, her fervent kiss needing my slow response, urging me to match her need. To mirror her haste. And I oblige, how can I not?

I let her kiss me and she lets me kiss her back, my tongue rolling over her own, my hands finding her hips as hers find the back of my neck, tugging my head closer to her own. Ashley's assaulting my senses and all I can do is push her body away from my own, my mouth disengaging, my hands breaking our embrace.

She looks confused as she ducks her head, trying to bring our mouths back together, wanting to reunite our tongues. I push her away again, and through her hooded-eyes she's asking me what the hell's going on.

Licking my lips, I start to guide her to my bed, and she grins at me, but she doesn't realize why. I quickly turn my bedside light on as I sit her down on the soft mattress and her hands grip my arms, trying to tug me down, urging me to join her. Sighing heavily, I sit next to her, our bodies angled towards each other. She tries to kiss me, again and I push her away, again. She frowns at me, her fingertips dancing over my thighs, her frown turns into a grin as her fingers dance higher, and higher, before I push her hands away and grab a hold of her wrists, stopping her from repeating her actions. She frowns once more and I lick my lips again, the unmistakable taste of whiskey lingering on the tip of my tongue.

I smile weakly at her, and push a stray stand of hair behind one of her ears as my other hand still grips at her wrists, "What are you doing here, Ashley?" I ask and she giggles.

"Trying," she pauses to giggle again and tug her wrists from my grasp, "To bed you!" she makes another attempt at kissing me again, her body rocking forward with the effort.

I push her shoulders back and let my hands linger, my fingertips steadying her wavering form, keeping her from rocking backwards on the bed and hitting her head against the wall. "Well here we are." I mutter, not really wanting to be the on the receiving end of Ashley's drunken advances.

"You're right!" She giggles again. Why do drunken people giggle so much? The world is **not** that funny.

"But I want to sex you up! Haha, sexing my little Spencie-Wencie up!" normally this would be endearing, but…. actually scratch that, this would never be endearing. If she was sober and actually wanting to get jiggy with it, then it would be brilliant, probably. But drunk Ashley, making clumsy attempts to get down with her bad self? Not so brilliant.

"How did you get here?"

"M'walked." She announces proudly, thumping a hand against her chest.

I sigh, picking myself off of the bed, I go over to a chest of draws, just left of my wardrobe, and pull out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, or as I call them; pyjamas. "Take your clothes off."

She grins at me and starts trying to shed her garments, finding that she's lost the dexterity required to undress I go back over to the bed, to help. My hands shaking more and more with every second that passes.

Her top comes off with ease and I instantly look away from her bare chest, thrusting the large t-shirt at her, my cheeks burn a violent shade of red as I hear her fumbling with the top. Before long she giggles out, "Done!" and I turn back towards her, clocking the t-shirt that she's now wearing is back-to-front. I refrain from sighing again and coax her arms back into the t-shirt, before spinning it around and helping her push her arms through the sleeves once more.

I help her to her feet and we somehow manage to get her skirt 'round her ankles and the boxers on. With Ashley giggling all the while.

She smiles a confused smile at me and plonks back down on the bed, as I take her shoes off, and swing her legs onto the mattress. With her head on the pillow, she rolls onto her side to regard me, "You have pretty eyes."

"You too." I murmur pulling the duvet cover over her slender body.

I tell her I'll be right back and go back downstairs, firstly going to the front door and re-locking it, then venturing into the kitchen. I turn the lights on and let out a long sigh, immediately going to the skink, grabbing the empty washing up bowl from within, I then root around underneath for the first aid box.

I throw a box of Paracetamol into the bowl I fill a glass with water. Running a shaky hand through my tousled hair, I ignore the pangs in my chest as I make my way back upstairs. Loathing drunk people.

She's already asleep by the time I set the water and painkillers down on the bedside table. I leave the plastic bowl by the bed and grab two spare blankets from my wardrobe, laying one down by my computer, I ease my body onto it and pull the other over myself.

Yawning I look over at Ashley, her face illuminated by the light near her head, I silently wish her a good night and try to get to sleep myself.

* * *

I wake up, and slam my eyes shut, confused as to why there's now a light next to my bed, my memory starts to return and I realize that I'm in Spencer's bed, all snuggled up under her covers. Mmm.

My bladder quickly reminds me of why I woke up in the first place and I reluctantly open my eyes and tiptoe to the nearest loo, reminding myself all the while to be as quiet as humanly possible, not wanting to disturb any slumbering Carlins.

I wash my hands as I yawn deeply and loudly, the alcohol that remains in my system telling me to go back to sleep. I nod at myself in the mirror and tiptoe back the way I came, softly shutting Spencer's bedroom door behind myself. She's left me out some water and painkillers. Pointlessly really, but she doesn't know I don't get hangovers; she's a sweetheart anyway.

Spencer's on the floor. Even though there's enough room for the both of us in her bed, Spencer's on the floor. I inch over to her and gently pull her to her feet, as she half-wakes up, muttering incoherent broken thoughts, she rests her weight against my body and I practically carry her over to the bed and lay her in it, as gently as I can. I think she's already asleep again.

She emits a contented sigh as her body hits the warm mattress and I quickly snuggle up to her, pulling the duvet back over our bodies. I turn the light off and spoon her, our bodies fitting together like jigsaw pieces, and before long her soft snores ease me back to sleep.


	15. Chapter 12

Just before the two month mark; smooth, non?

But I apologize for my tardiness, but I've been busy - work and all. And I also apologize for both the length and quality of this chapter, it's basically a filler just to show that I haven't forgotten about this fic. But I do not and will not apologize for toast! Annnyway.

The lyrics at the beginning are from the **Swinging Blue Jeans** song, "_Hippy Shake_", why I hear you asking? Well, I just felt like putting something irreverent in, plus I was listening to it.

This part is dedicated to all the hard-working staff at JD Wetherspoons pubs across the country, we're going to get screwed this weekend, cheers.

* * *

Chapter 12

_**Well, now you shake it to the left,  
Shake it to the right,  
Do the hippy shake shake  
With all of your might oh baby**_

I judder awake, pleased to be away from the boogieman that had been chasing me during my slumber, and snuggle deeper into my pillow. That is until I notice two things about said pillow, the first is that its' breathing and the second, that it's not a pillow and I am in fact snuggling my face deep into Spencer's breasts. Oh yeah, I'm a smooth operator. I roll myself away from her petite frame and rub at my eyes, muting a yawn as I search the room for a clock. My eyes fall on the red LED display to my right and I squint trying to recall what day of the week it is. Friday was yesterday so today is Saturday, bingo! Saturday; being up at 6:09 on a Saturday must be against the law. I wonder if I can sue the chirping birds outside that woke me, hmm.

Spencer stirs beside me and lightly rolls into me, sighing as our bodies collide she lets out a soft snore and rubs her nose into my shoulder. She used to do the same all the time when we were younger, as if she were looking for the perfect spot, even in sleep.

A car alarm goes off down the street and I throw myself out of Spencer's warm bed, leaving the blonde behind.

* * *

Is there anything nicer than waking up in a warm bed and realizing you don't have to get up for anything at all, all day? I think not! The only thing is… I bolt up in bed; I didn't go to sleep in a bed last night, what the fudgecake? My eyes rest on the tangle on blankets by my computer desk then fall upon the tepid glass of water on my nightstand. I sigh and fall back onto my mattress, hearing the light crumple of paper behind my head, I push a hand between my pillow and my head and retrieve a piece of plain printer paper. I turn the paper over in my hands, once, twice, then a third time, blinking rapidly, urging my eyes to focus on the handwriting, the ink colouring the paper, hoping that it reveals some deep part of Ashley's psyche that she wouldn't dare voice to anyone. Ever.

It doesn't. It simply says "Thanks". Thanks for what I don't know. Thanks for letting her sleep here, thanks for not kicking her out, thanks for kissing her back, thanks for not trying to hump her whilst she slept? She doesn't say. Just, _Thanks._

Ashley Davies – The Original Enigma. I thought she was as deep under my skin as humanly possible, then she has to turn up drunk on my doorstep. I'm too non compos mentis for this. I let my body sink deeper into my mattress and let my body surrender to slumber again.

There's nothing wrong with having a lie-in on a Saturday, especially if you've got Ashley Davies plaguing your thoughts.


	16. Chapter 13

Just _after _the two month mark, smooth, non?

Again, sorry for the lack of updates, but my life has morphed into sleep and work, which sucks.

Anyway, as always the feedback rocks my socks, so thanks to all who have left some!

This chapter is probably rather choppy, but just bear with it. And I've deliberately not specified whose POV the last two _parts_ are in, one could be Ashley and the other Spencer, or both Ashley, or both Spencer, or both someone completely random, you just don't know!

The lyrics at the beginning are from the song "_Over My Head (Cable Car)_" by **The Fray,** it's good music yo'!

* * *

Chapter 13

_**And suddenly I become a part of your past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last  
I'm losing you and its effortless**_

_

* * *

___

September 2002

"Double maths suuuuuuuuuucks!" She laments, putting bored emphasis on the sucks part. I softly nod in agreement and she nuzzles her face into my neck.

"And the worst part is that you're not in my class, hmp!"

"Yeah, but that means that I don't have to suffer through it. So that sucks for you!" She pulls away from me in time to see me stick my tongue out at her.

"You suck." She sulks, kicking at something on the pavement, clearly bored waiting for her mother to pick us up after school.

I smile to myself as I push myself off from the small wall and slowly start to wander down the road, looking for any sign of Mrs. Davies SUV.

Soft fingertips lock around my forearm and a warm palm presses into my wrist and Ashley lets out a gentle disgruntled sound as she pulls me back to her. Her free arm wraps itself around my midriff and she presses her mouth into the back of my shoulder, "Don't leave me."

I can feel her pouting against my flesh and it makes me grin widely, "I was just looking out for your mum." I tell her, but I don't think she's even listening.

She sighs, trying to snuggle against me, "Hmm, don't go anywhere."

I'd never tell her, but I love when she gets protective of me, it makes me feel all warm and funny inside.

_

* * *

___

Present Day

My eyes lock with hers as she walks into the classroom and she slyly smiles at me, my pulse is racing. Of course she doesn't pay me anymore attention for the rest of the lesson, but still, she acknowledged me and that's enough.

On her way out, as I'm digging around in my school bag, trying to get all my books to fit in, I feel her fingers skim over my skin and it feels like my stomach has just dropped out of my backside. I look up in time to see her disappear off into the hallways, getting lost in the sea of students. My hand still tingles from her touch, but I don't know what she's thinking. What she's doing, or what she thinks she's doing. And I fear that it will slowly drive me crazy.

_

* * *

___

One Month On From The Present Day

She giggles as I kiss her flat stomach, my nose tickling the taut flesh that covers her ribcage and I grin against her soft skin. Her hands pull my body upwards, just far enough so that our lips can meet once more, her giggles fading to sighs as her bodies run on autopilot kissing each other expertly. Fingers and hands finding sensitive skin, the right tempo so well known at this point, my fingers push into her, ever so slightly and her body falls away from me; pressing itself deeper into her plush mattress.

I let my lips wander to her neck as my finger push deeper, sliding into the territory they know and love, softly sending waves of pleasure throughout her body. She moans my name and I mutely sigh, wholly contented.

_

* * *

___

Three Months On From The Present Day

His shoe buries itself into my tenderized abdomen as venom spills out of his mouth, blind accusations confusing my already sore head. His friend pulls my body upward, holding me steady as he begins to punch at my face and torso again. My body lies limp in his friend's arms and he still does not stop, his words match the blows his hands deliver. Blood fills my mouth and I'm unable to keep protesting, my muttered pleas never reaching his ears.

Soon his words start to fade and hush, the destruction to my body no longer hurting and the solidity of the world around us starts to crumble away.

* * *


	17. Chapter 14

**To everyone, ****_tar very much_**** for the feedback, keep it a'comin'**

The lyrics at the beginning are from the song "_Banquet_" by **Bloc Party **

* * *

Chapter 14

_**Turning away from the light,  
Becoming adult,  
Turning into myself,  
I wanted to bite not destroy, **_

_**To feel her underneath,  
Turning into the light**_

* * *

_Present Day_

My eyes lock with hers as she walks into the classroom and she slyly smiles at me, my pulse is racing. Of course she doesn't pay me anymore attention for the rest of the lesson, but still, she acknowledged me and that's enough. She hasn't left my mind since the last time I saw her and if she continues as she is, I doubt she'll ever leave my thoughts.

On her way out, as I'm digging around in my school bag, trying to get all my books to fit in, I feel her fingers skim over my skin and it feels like my stomach has just dropped out of my backside. I look up in time to see her disappear off into the hallway, getting lost in the sea of students. My hand still tingles from her touch, but I don't know what she's thinking. What she's doing, or what she thinks she's doing. And I fear that it will slowly drive me crazy.

I want to talk to her, to question her, to see what she remembers from Friday night, to ask her if she knows that she's driving me crazy. But I don't have the time to chase after her and I don't know if I have the strength to play games with her. Sighing, I resign myself to take leave for my art lesson, doubting if my backbone is still within me.

My head ducks as I join the mess of faces that litter the King High hallways between lessons, individuality lost in the sea of bored bodies, all with somewhere better to be. I briefly contemplate stopping at my locker on my way to the art block; too much effort I decided and continue to get pushed and shoved along, the force of everyone behind me propelling my body forward, my feet barely having to work independently. I trip through the door of the main building and suck in a lungful of warm smoky air. Ugh, I'm breathing in smog.

I wish I had somewhere better to be, I wish I could skive, but with purpose. I'm awful at art anyway, but I have no good reason to bunk off... well I'm bored to the back teeth of sketching fruit, but sadly I don't think it will suffice. My feet are slow and I can barely suppress a yawn as I drag myself towards the art block, not paying any attentions to the buildings I pass; the drama and design buildings fade to the side of me, their presence redundant to me. I wish I could... whatthehell? A warm pair of hands grab me from behind, pulling my body backwards, hiding my form in the shadows between buildings.

Her grip softens as she wraps her arms around my waist, "What say you and me blow this joint, kid?"

Her voice is smooth as velvet as her warm breath sends shivers through me, she smiles against my ear and I know I'll never be able to say no.


End file.
